This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
