i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
