I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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