He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
