You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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