My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
