Cold hands, warm shart.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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