Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I'm always down for nudity.
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