the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
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