Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
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