I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Randomize
