Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Still dying that you shit outside
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Randomize
