My Higher Power is John Stamos
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize
