Just cropdusted the office
She announced her abortion via fbk
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
