office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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