so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize