i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
