Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Your tits are I can't wait for
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
