I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
Randomize
