6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
