yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
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