We should be called the Road Head Warriors
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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