Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
