he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
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then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
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And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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