He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
