If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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