well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Can I color on your dick again?
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize