I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
