And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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