Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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