I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
