im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
We left an ass print on the piano.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
