is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
