You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
