I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
