About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
