I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Someone stole a lamp last night.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
