peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
A bitchslap is in order.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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