Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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