Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
