I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize