Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't tell me you're on acid again
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize