I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
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