the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
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