i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
