Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
