Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize