update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
