drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Randomize