If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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