I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
