My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
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