I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
