I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
